Tuesday, March 19, 2013

She Who Forgives

“I think this belongs to you,” a friend said as she handed me this small piece paper December 8, 2012, in New York City. I’ve carried dog eared tea tag in the right-hand pocket of my black jacket ever since, a reminder. 

A close relationship shifted significantly over the last few years. Rather than list how it changed, who said what, who failed to say what, I acknowledge the loss. And am prompted to forgive. 

The act is one of the "'five things,' topics that typically need to be covered in order to facilitate closure," says Dr. Ira Block. In Grieving Mindfully, Sameet M. Kumar, Ph.D., writes:
I forgive you. This can be forgiveness about anything and everything. Forgiveness can be thought of as a radical acceptance toward someone else. Forgiveness is not to be confused with forgetting. However, when you forgive, through the power of compassion, you release the hold that this issue has had on your life. Rather than feeling unresolved outrage or a sense of justice unserved, you take upon yourself the responsibility for living life on your terms.
I forgive you. Quarrel over. I wish you peace and happiness.

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